One full year of writing this newsletter and I still do not have an intro. All I keep running with is the belief that you love me as I am. This is one of those newsletters that sounds like a fight. Luckily, it’s not (I think). Instead, it’s more like those rants I have when I’ve had to deal with too much of the same thing in different fonts. I feel like I have not ranted about love and friendship in a bit, so allow me to change that. Yeah?

You know how we constantly talk about love languages and how we as individuals want to be loved? While that is amazing, I’ve realized a lot of people do not take into account how the person they’re showing love to wants to be loved. When that happens, you end up “doing too much” while the person you’re supposed to be showing love to feels like you’re not doing enough.

My love language is giving gifts. When I love people, I believe that the best way to show it is through a gift that lets you know “I’m listening”, “I want to make your life easier”, and “Smile for me”. As a result of that, I am constantly paying attention to the people I love so I can give them not only the gifts they specifically said they want but also things I know they will like. It’s an experience and my way of saying I see you as a whole person. In that same vain, I loved to be loved in that exact manner. I want to feel seen and listened to and the best way to do that is through gifts or acts of service.

It is not just important to figure out how you show and receive love, but to know how the person you are trying to show love to likes to receive it. Now, if I meet someone who tells me that the best way for them to feel loved is through words that affirm my feelings for them, Shakespeare will have to wake up and fight me for his title. Why? Because although gifts might do it for me, that’s not what will do it for them and while telling them that God rested after creating them because he had never seen such beauty in a human might be what does it for them, it will make me laugh at best.

So what does this mean? It means that when we tell people we love them and they tell us they love us, we need to strike some sort of balance of affection. We find out what would work for them in that moment and we do it. Why? Because when you love someone, you have to get over yourself and do the things they want, not the things you “think” they need. You no fit know person pass the way dem know themselves.

I was having multiple conversations with people who I care so deeply for and that’s when all of these realizations came to me. I love gifts, they love quality time and words of affirmation. How we go run am then? For me, it’s bringing a gift every time we spent time together and randomly telling them the feelings in my chest. That’s just what it’s like to love, care for and enjoy someone. To me, it is a true test of whatever feelings a person claims to have for you. If they cannot love you the way you require, desire and deserve, then you should be somewhere else and this goes for friendships too. Ask yourself, really seriously now, do your friends love you how you want? Do you love them how they require? It goes beyond having someone to cry to when a boy breaks your heart or seeing who you can borrow money from. It’s how they show you they care when there is no reason to. It’s in the way they pick out your birthday gifts, the time they carve out of their day to spend time with you and how they include you in the big and small things. Love is romantic. Be it with your friends or otherwise.

This is why I say there are no more real lovers out there. There are people who love you the way they want to in the hopes that you pick the hint and love them back, but there are hardly any people who will love you how you specifically ask for while still remaining true to themselves. Especially because a real lover will translate that type of love to their friends and family. Love is not a commercial thing you can mass produce, it is individually tailored to every person’s needs, wants, desires and whimsy. That is why people say love is work. It is because you need to understand each person on a deeper level. When you realize this, you will realize that some people never loved you and you have deceived yourself into thinking you love certain people in the severity both parties claim.

At the end of the day, if you love someone, show them how they can see it, hear it and feel it. You don’t want them to doubt it, or do you?

Anyways, signing off from my bedroom in my grandma’s house. I’m ill but dreaming of a thick and delicious milkshake.

My older and wiser tip for this newsletter is to have a small first aid kit in your house with the basic medication. Stuff like painkillers, antacid, etc. You are getting old, plus mistakes sometimes happen and suddenly it’s 2am and you need a bandage because you cut your finger with a knife will trying to make indomie. Please, protect yourself.

Deadpool & Wolverine

Now, I am not a marvel girl for anything in me, but I went on a date with M and she loves action movies (see red flag) but I am romance and comedy babe, so when we were trying to decide on a movie to see on our date, Deadpool and Wolverine was the best choice (something something finding a balance in your affection).

While I may not fully remember all of the intricacies of the movie because I had a very distracting date, I remember laughing so hard and going “Deadpool is so gay” multiple times. I don’t know how this movie ties into the MCU and I do not care, but it did make we want to watch all the older Deadpool movies for a good laugh. So all I can say about the movie is that it’s a fun watch and I enjoyed it thoroughly.