I'm Just Saying Goodbye

A long time ago, I started writing this newsletter because I hoped to connect with an audience of people who thought, felt and acted like me. People who didn't want to think they were alone. Another reason I don't tell people I started this newsletter, was that I thought I was good at it. I wrote the Zikoko HER newsletter for years and I thought to myself “Maybe writing newsletters is my thing”, so I did it, but what if it's not?

I've battled with imposter syndrome so often and I've lost so many versions of myself these past couple of weeks. In all of this I've had to ask myself “At what point does it stop becoming imposter syndrome and do I start becoming the truth?”

I think the time is now. I think now is the time for me to acknowledge the fact that I'm not just good at this. I've had so many ways I've wanted to say this, but I think this is best. It is short, simple and straight to the point.

Maybe I might snap out of whatever this is, but I'm putting this out here so you don't hold on to something that may not be true. So welcome, to the beginning of the end. This may be the last update you see from me this week, month, year or the rest of my short life. However, I want you to know I appreciate you. For believing in me way more than I believe in myself. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life anymore, and know that I'm writing this with tears in my eyes, but I genuinely think I've lost it. All of me and I don't know how I'm going to get it back. I care for you. Thank you.

Also, in all of this, consider watching Marry my Husband. I was watching it with T, but I didn't finish it. Stay safe, stay beautiful. Have a lovely life.